Project Runway

I have so few vices these days, but one of them, without question, is Project Runway. I adore this show. It's "fierce," as that new scrappy little kid likes to say. "Fierce." (Such a great word!) There's just something so fascinating about watching people make something from nothing, and so quickly. I suppose I identify with those designers and their creative processes (all except for that crazy one who spits - what's up with THAT?!). So I started thinking: what if there was a Project Novel?

Host Stephen King: "Okay, contestants. You have thirty minutes to write your opening chapter..."
Contestant One: "No way. Can't be done."
King: "This isn't about precision. This is about getting words on paper. Thirty minutes is plenty of time to..."
Contestant Two: "Excuse me, Mr. King? Where are the outlines?"
King: "The what?"
Contestant Two: "The outlines! I can't write without one!"
King: "There aren't any - c'mon folks! Thirty minutes! Just write!"
Contestant Three: "Thirty minutes is no problem."
King: "That's the spirit!"
Contestant Three: "Tomorrow. I can write an opening chapter in thirty minutes if I can ruminate on it tonight."
King: "Ruminate? RUMINATE? One opening chapter. Thirty minutes. Go!"
Contestant Four: "I could maybe do it if it were the opening sentence. Thirty minutes for an sentence. Maybe."
All contestants nod and mumble in agreement.
King: "Whatever. I'm out of here. If you guys don't want me to teach you how to crank out both quantity and quality, I'm out." Exits stage left.
Contestant One: "Starbucks?"