Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Free Martha!

Martha Stewart got robbed. Okay, well, I suppose I see the irony in that statement - her being an ex-con and all. But I'm not talking about Martha's jail stint. I'm talking about her show! "The Apprentice: Martha Stewart" has been cancelled after this, the first season. What a gyp! So maybe Martha doesn't have the bling of The Donald or the grit of a Survivor or the flash of an Amazing Race. But the woman's done Hard Time, for heaven's sake! Until now, Martha Stewart was untouchable. I mean, who among us has kayaked to a meadow in Norway, shorn our own sheep, spun our own wool, then knitted our own sweater?! But now, FINALLY, I can relate. Don't get me wrong - I've not logged any time behind bars. But I've made my fair share of flubs. The only way to get past them is to keep plugging away, to climb back on that horse, to exhaust all applicable cliches. Martha did just that, and how do we reward such pluck? With a big old pink slip, that's how! So I say, Free Martha! Free her from her houndstooth-checkered past! Subscribe to her magazine! Watch her daytime show! Visit her website! Buy her wares! And keep Martha in our lives! Keep her around if for no other reason than to satiate our desire to finally feel Holier Than Thou.


Alan Gratz said...

Martha Stewart frightens me. I think she buries babies in the rose bed. And she deserves cancellation - not for her incarceration, but for helping to perpetrate the fraud on the public that children's books can be dashed off and illustrated in twenty-four hours! Shame on you, Martha!

So now we'll be seeing a little less of Martha on the TV. And that's a good thing.

Kristin Tubb said...

Ok, so - I agree with you on that whole children's book angle. And yes, she MIGHT bury babies in her rose bed. But how else could she get the blooms as big as a cat's head?!